I had a dream – nightmare – that Andrew had died. The dream gave me the feeling of being in a cop show drama, involving a hotel room and putting shoes in plastic bags, but plot is irrelevant when I’m playing the role of the inconsolable widow.

Later in the morning, Andrew kicked Merlin out of the bedroom for being obnoxious, and sprayed some cat calming spray on the door to keep him from scratching. A minute later the smell wafted over and I thought, “yes that is calming…”