My interpretation of the pregnancy drug categories:

Class A: Perfectly safe. Yeah right, no one’s going to take the liability to so much as say water is safe during pregnancy. So hydrate yourself in moderation, just in case. Don’t want to risk that fetus floating away.

Class B: Pretty safe. This is as good as it gets as far as drug categories go. Tylenol is a class B so if you trust Tylenol then go for it. However if your child ends up with a birth defect, even from the bad luck of ending up on probability’s bad side, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Class C: Not really tested so we’re going to assume it’s bad, but not tell you not to take it either. “Take only if needed,” but without any guidance on “needed” (needed for life? needed for quality of life?) I think it comes down to, ‘Are you willing to tell your future child, “I’m sorry you fail at life because I couldn’t give up my _______.”?’

Class D: Not safe but necessary if you’re one of those selfish people (like me) who insists on procreating despite all of the bad genes you’re obviously passing on.

Class X: Contraindicated, a fancy word for saying, “Don’t even think about it.” Also a paradox in the making with a government that wants to outlaw both abortion and birth control. I guess if they outlaw acne medication next we’ll be okay. “God wanted you to have bad skin!”