I was originally going to start this blog on the same day I stop my meds – possibly with an illustrative picture of my empty birth control pack, but I hadn’t decided whether I should stop the pill at the same time to give my cycle time to reset, or use the next three-month pack as a convenient timer.  That was answered by the endometriosis specialist who told me to stay on them until I was ready.  (“That’s why you have to take it every day, it wears off so quickly.”)   But that’s just one piece of the information overload I received this week…

Starting over a bit, I just had the followup appointment after my laproscopy that was looking for endometriosis. I got pictures of my insides to keep, which is fascinating (my uterus looks so small!) except for the part he referred to as “bowel fat”. I wanted to say, “Couldn’t you have taken that out while you’re in there?” like a mini liposuction.

I found out that while I don’t actually have Von Willebrand’s, I do have some kind of platelet disorder because I bruised internally at the slightest touch.

I found out that I did have endometriosis, on my bladder and I forget where else but it wasn’t on the worst spots (ovaries and faliopian tubes) for fertility issues. Also two small fibroid tumors (‘tumor’ sounds scary but they’re benign’) and one larger one on my uterus. Everything was lasered away except the larger fibroid which he didn’t want to touch with my platelet issues.

However endometriosis grows back and he told me that I shouldn’t put off trying to get pregnant. At all. I got the feeling I should run out and get knocked up today if possible. Then he started talking about the success rates of various fertility treatments while my head was spinning – why is he acting like there’s a problem before I’ve even tried??

The rest of the day thoughts kept going through my head like, ‘I can’t get pregnant yet – I still have to start a blog and plan a sushi party!’

That night I was able to talk to Andrew and find out we’re still on the same page. I’m going to start my body’s three three month preparation later in March when he’s done with school.

It’s March. Suddenly this all feels very real…

But knowing I have a little bit of time to prepare for… preparing helped until I went to bed. Then suddenly the thought pops in my head, ‘I can’t get pregnant yet – I have socks with holes in them!’

I’m pretty sure that was my mind’s translation of ‘My life isn’t in 100% perfect order.’

However getting new socks now feels vitally important.